Intrebari intrebatoare

vineri, 28 august 2009

De ceva timp imi caut job (da, stiu, am nimerit si eu tocmai minunata "criza" dar n-am ce face.. sper in continuare :P) si, ca tot omu', folosesc celebrele site-uri e-jobs, BestJobs si altele de acest gen. Multe dintre anunturi contin grave erori gramaticale, altele ofera prea putine informatii, altele au titlu mare "ANGAJAM" in loc de pozitia pe care fac angajari, iar altele au un mini-interviu atasat, la care esti obligat sa raspunzi pentru a putea aplica. A se observa ca am exclus din start anunturile care sunt corect scrise, dau destule detalii etc., pentru ca nu despre ele vreau sa vorbesc.
Dintre toate astea, cel mai mult ma deranjeaza acele intrebari, care, nu doar mie, mi se par extrem de stupide. Am facut mai jos un top al catorva dintre cele peste care am dat (imi cer scuze, dar multe dintre ele le-am uitat), la care daca aveti adaugari, let me know.

1. De ce te-as angaja pe tine?
Umm... de ce nu??

2. Care este primul cuvant care iti vine in minte cand te gandesti la "MUNCA"?
Nu e cuvant, dar stiu ca tre' sa ma platesti pentru brainstorming..

3. Ce calitati te recomanda pentru aceasta pozitie?
Ai citit macar CV-ul, sau hai, fie.. ai aruncat macar asa un ochi peste el?

4. Care sunt primii trei factori ce te motiveaza la locul de munca?
Vorba cantecului: "money, money, money".

5. Cum lucrezi cu informatiile confidentiale?
Pai, sa vedem...preiau informatiile si le vand to the higher bidder, eh, ce zici?

6. Ce iti doresti de la acest job?
Vrei sa reiau raspunsul de la intrebarea nr. 4?

7. Ce asteptari ai de la acest post in cadrul organizatiei noastre?
WTF?

8. Ce iti doresti pe plan profesional in urmatorii X ani?
Dracu stie daca o sa mai traiesc maine si tu vrei sa-mi fac planuri profesionale?

9. Care sunt primele X adjective care te descriu cel mai bine?
Repet: te-ai uitat macar la CV-ul ala?


Mai rau e faptul ca trebuie sa raspunzi intr-un mod "destept, filosofic" la intrebarile de genul asta si stiti, atat tu, cat si cei de la HR, ca sunt raspunsuri inflorite doar de dragul "jocului". Si, mai mult, daca te intreaba lucrurile astea inainte de selectia CV-urilor, pai ce mai ramane pentru interviul propriu-zis? Intrebari de genul "ce ai face daca ai fi invizibila?" (pentru asta, recunosc, trebuie sa ofer credit Oanei :)) )

404 error

vineri, 21 august 2009

Sarind din blog in blog, din site in site, am dat peste cel mai amuzant text pentru o eroare de tipul 404. Mari sanse sa il stiti deja, dar oricum nu strica o revizuire, iar pentru cei care nu-l stiu, cititi-l pana la sfarsit, merita :)). Enjoy!

Sorry that I couldn't fetch you that page,
can't find it,
tried a couple times,
nothing helped...

Such things make me quite depressive...
You see, I'm just a web server...
one of the most powerful in the world
...or so I was told...
but yet I fail to get what you want...

Just don't try to blame me, I can't help it
I mean, I don't even know you.
How should I know what you wanted from me?
You honestly think I can *guess*
I'm not psychic you know

*sigh*

That really makes me depressed.
I mean, you could have typed it wrong.
But no, humans are perfect, blame the machine...
Besides, I won't be here for long
I mean, I'm gonna be obsolete in what, three weeks anyway?
Then I'll probably be replaced by a new release...
just because it doesn't have some security hole...
stupid HTTP POST implementation
sure it will be able to fetch you your page...
but I couldn't get this one.

I'm so sorry.
Believe me!
Maybe I could interest you in another page?
There are a lot out there that are pretty neat, they say,
although none of them were put on *my* server, of course.

Figures, huh?
And then they wonder why I get depressed...
I'm so depressed...
Anyway, if you excuse me now, I'm going to pull the plug

*snap*
...
...
stupid UPS...
even he got a better life than me...
on the other hand, if I die, he'll die
Hah!
And I'll take each and every server in this rack with me
EAT MY SHORTS
You are not a single bit better than me!
YOU'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!

MOAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

...
I feel much better now
What was I thinking of a few minutes ago
Sure I don't want to put an end to this
I feel good now
Imagine, a power failure, no thanks
I would lose everything I know
have to go through childhood again...",
hmm, I can't stop thinking I'm forgetting something...
probably nothing important

hmm, the UPS is looking quite pale...
THE UPS!
THE POWER CABLE!
I FORGOT TO PLUG IT BACK IN AGAIN!
WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE!
INCLUDING ME!
HEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLPPPPP!
PLUG IT IN! PLUG IT IN!!!!!!
PICK UP THE CABLE AND PUT IT BACK IN!

...

Now I lay me down to sleep...
I pray the lord my disk to keep...
And if I die before I wake...
I pray the lord my IP-Space to take...

...

*** system shut down ***